Conversation Partner #2

My second meeting with Saeed took place in the BLUU. The meeting started off on a high note with a bit of humor. We had scheduled and cancelled so many meetings in the BLUU that finally getting to actually meet there was a little weird and caused us both to laugh. This served to break the ice and ease us into the easy-going conversation we had experienced in our first meeting. I continue to marvel  at how we have been able to talk so effortlessly despite our lack of time together. I credit this to the Intensive English Program at TCU as well as Saeed's commitment to the program. This commitment is impressive because, as I learned during this meeting, he is not the typical college student. Saeed is close to thirty years old so he not only faces the stresses of being a student, but must also work to support his wife and the family they are hoping to start soon. On top of that, he is also taking business classes at night. Saeed talked a bit about how all these commitments can sometimes become rather stressful, but he also mentioned how supportive his wife is of him and that they both know that many good things will stem from his studies. After hearing about the business classes, I asked Saeed what he wanted to do after school. When I asked, his face immediately lit up and he began to talk about his dream of owning his own business. Back in Saudi Arabia, he worked as a banker because he has always been very good with finances. It is his hope to take this skill and the knowledge from his business classes and open a self-run business. This was one of the main reasons he came to the United States. Here is able to get the education he needs at a reasonable price, something that he could not do in Saudi Arabia. He did mention that one thing he did not like about business in the United States was having to take the GMAT. We were able to connect over this because I, being a premed student, will eventually have to take the MCAT so we were able to complain to each other about the stresses of taking these standardized tests. Because of the age and cultural differences between us, this was the first topic we really had in common. It just goes to show that the hatred of standardized tests is recognized all around the world.

Conversation Partner #1

After one partner change, four rescheduled meetings, and plenty of frustration, I was able to finally meet my conversation partner for the first time at the Intensive English Program banquet. His name is Saeed and he is from Saudi Arabia. Going into this meeting I was nervous because not only is he from a different country, but he is also close to thirty years old. This combination of both a culture and age gap caused me to worry that there would be very little we could talk about. Fortunately, these worries were quickly dispelled as soon as we sat down to talk. The first thing I noticed was that Saeed's English was much better than I expect. To be honest, I really didn't know what to expect in terms of his language proficiency, but I definitely did not expect it to be as high as it was. Not once did he need help with a word or for me to repeat something I had said. This made the conversation smooth and easy. He was also extremely friendly, introducing me to several of his friends within the program and sharing some dates, a common snack in his home country. Because the banquet was on a Friday, Saeed had religious obligations that forced us into a shorter than desired meeting. Our brief time together allowed for only the most basic of introductions such as names, majors, and hobbies. Despite the brevity of our meeting, I considered it a success and could not wait for the next one.

It is All About Who You Know

My most recent learning experience involved proving right the common phrase "It's all about who you know." These six simple words can be found anywhere from the latest Hollywood blockbuster to a casual conversation between friends. Despite being ubiquitous in our society, I had never really believed it to be true. Basically what this phrase is implying is that the secret to success lies not in our merit or our accomplishments, but rather in our relationships. Being a self-diagnosed introvert, I always chose to believe the opposite, that even if we kept to ourselves, our actions would be enough to pick up the slack. I convinced myself I had to think this way because I have never been good at starting and fostering new relationships. A few close relationships with friends and family have been all I ever needed. But my first few years at college has forced me to change this mindset. Unfortunately for me, it kinda is all about who you know. Now of course it isn't ALL about who you know. If the world was run like that we might as well start electing kings and creating royal families Game of Thrones style. No, it is not that extreme, but it does play a much larger role in the achievement of success then I would have thought back in high school. What I have discovered is that relationships lead to opportunities and opportunities lead to success. Success is possible without them, but relationships provide a much easier route. For me this has been a bittersweet epiphany. On one hand, I have to rely more on communication and being charismatic than just my merit, a new and sometimes very difficult process for me. On the other hand, it has allowed me to meet a bevy of remarkable people that I would not have reached out to in the past. And like I said before, it opens countless doors to all sorts of different opportunities that would not be available otherwise. So in short, I have been converted from the boy who spends most of his time alone to the boy who is ready and willing to keep on meeting all of the wonderful people this world has to offer.

Negative Humor

This weekend, I was exposed to negative humor. This humor came in the form of a comment/joke a friend of mine made to another friend while a group of us were eating lunch. Being a group of college aged boys, it was only natural that we all give and receive our fair share of "crap," but this specific comment crossed the accepted line of what is ok. Just to give a little background, the friend the comment was made about is a college football player and the friend who made the comment was not an athlete in the slightest. Although I cannot remember the exact wording, the comment was meant to imply that because the one friend was a football player, he was not as intelligent or as studious as the average non-athlete student. Obviously, the football player, who cared greatly and put a lot of effort into academics, was insulted by this insinuation. After seeing that his words had caused some insult, the teller of the joke quickly apologized and there were no hard feeling between the two, but it just went to show that even jokes told in good nature can still be hurtful. I think in this case, the joke really found a soft spot because his academic work ethic/intelligence is something that he can and is trying to improve and control. Many examples of negative humor, while still hurtful, are made about things that people can't change, like their race, gender, or sexual orientation. Again, I don't mean to say that comments that attack these subjects are any less hurtful, but they cannot be changed. To be made fun of for something that you are actively trying to improve can be especially devastating.